“Wisdom for Wealth. For Life.” Episode 46: Viewing Singleness Through the Gospel

In a culture that often views singleness as a temporary condition to endure rather than embrace, many Christian singles struggle with their identity and purpose. Blue Trust private wealth advisor Mary Helen Klingen recently sat down with author and pastor Sam Allberry to discuss his book, Seven Myths about Singleness, and explore how Scripture offers a radically different perspective on single life.

Sam, who serves at Immanuel Nashville Church and has been single his entire life, wrote the book after noticing how biblical teachings were helping people think differently about their singleness. “The more I studied it in the Bible, the more aware I became that the Bible was surprisingly positive about something we’re often a little bit down on in the world and in the church today,” he said.

Beyond the “Gift of Singleness” Misconception

One of the most prevalent myths Sam addresses is the misunderstanding of Paul’s teaching about the “gift of singleness” in I Corinthians. Many interpret this to mean only people with special, supernatural abilities should remain single.

“People take the word ‘gift’ and think the gift of singleness must be some special, unusual capacity to be able to cope with singleness,” Sam said. “But the state is the gift. Marriage is a gift. Singleness is a gift.”

Intimacy Beyond Romance

For Sam, one of the most liberating realizations has centered on intimacy and family. Western culture has narrowed intimacy to primarily romantic relationships, but Scripture presents a much broader view. For example, Sam explains, “Friendship and the church are meant to be categories of deep relationship, of non-romantic intimacy.”

This perspective can transform how singles view their relationships. Rather than seeing themselves as missing out on intimacy, they can recognize they may have a breadth of intimacy through meaningful connections with extended family, fellow church members, coworkers, and others they meet in day-to-day life.

These relationships sometimes serve as a “chosen family” for many singles. Sam pointed out that Paul calls Timothy and Titus his “true sons in the faith,” and describes himself as having become a father to the church in Corinth. He also noted Romans 16, where Paul describes being deeply embedded in familial relationships with fellow believers.

Singleness as an Advantage

If someone is single and not raising children, then they may have more flexibility. Sam describes how his singleness provides “the freedom I have to serve Christ and be devoted to Him” in ways that would be more difficult with family constraints. This autonomy includes being available for friends, nimbler in accepting ministry opportunities, and perhaps having more funds available to assist others financially.

This flexibility may also extend to career decisions and financial planning. Single adults may be in a better position to pivot into ministry, missions, or entrepreneurship because they may have less constraints than others.

Acknowledging the Challenges

While Sam is positive about singleness, he doesn’t romanticize it. “Singleness has its ups and downs. And marriage has its ups and downs,” he said. The key is avoiding the trap of comparing the benefits of one with the challenges of the other.

Single people face unique challenges, including being 100% responsible for domestic responsibilities and financial obligations. It can also be difficult to find people to walk through day-to-day life with you. But these challenges don’t negate the other gifts and opportunities of single life.

Leaving a Different Kind of Legacy

When it comes to legacy, single adults can sometimes feel a little loss, but it’s important to remember that everyone has the ability to leave a lasting legacy. Sam says, “All of us can have a spiritual legacy. God chooses to grow Christians through Christians.”

Singles can also leave an impactful financial legacy, which may include supporting ministries or blessing individuals who have been significant in their own lives. “I want to be responsible in thinking about the legacy I can leave,” Sam said.

Finding Contentment

Sam said he has learned to find “contentment in Jesus as a single person,” rather than contentment in singleness itself. “That means I can be finding singleness difficult, and yet still find contentment,” he said.

This approach allows for honest acknowledgement of challenges while maintaining joy and purpose rooted in relationship with Christ rather than circumstances.

For single Christians navigating questions of purpose and financial stewardship, Sam’s perspective offers both theological grounding and practical hope. Singleness isn’t a problem requiring a solution. Instead, it’s a gift with unique opportunities for kingdom service, spiritual family, and witness to the sufficiency of Christ.

 

Related Resources:

• • • Financial Planning Tips for Singles
    • Choosing Simplicity and Contentment in a Busy World
    • Writing Your Unique Story
    • Divorced, Widowed, Single or Married: Financial Planning for Women

 

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